Giulianna Maria Lamanna is a godless Communist tree-hugging hippie bent on world domination. Being half-Jewish, she controls half the media. Being half-Italian, she controls half the mafia. Sometimes she’ll have the mafia randomly attack the media, purely for her own amusement. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

When she’s not using her innate liberal powers of evil to destroy all moral standards, Giuli enjoys viciously murdering kittens, puppies, and bunny rabbits. She harbors an intense hatred of America because of its freedom. Her fondest wish is for the American economy to weaken so she can overthrow the government and replace it with a one-party dictatorship in which all are forced to worship They Might Be Giants. Later on, she will expand the Amerikan Socialist Republic’s borders to invade Canada, Mexico, and anyone who looks at her funny. Get used to bowing down before Giuli now; it’ll make it easier for you when she finally wrests control of the entire planet.

Interests: Hearing the sweet melody of my enemies’ terrified cries, the smell of death and destruction, the taste of hot blood gushing out of the open chest cavities of devout Christians, gorging myself on human flesh with a side of mashed potatoes, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Pet peeves: Freedom, democracy, apple pie, all that is good and pure.

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